segunda-feira, 28 de maio de 2007

Vai que é tua, Galvão!

Como se não bastasse a corrida ter sido ruim, até as pérola do Galvão foram menos grosseiras dessa vez. Mas vamos lá.
A primeira foi forte. A famosa frase do Piquet ganhou uma versão para chuvas. O autor? O inoxidável narrador global. "Correr em Mônaco com chuva é como andar de bicicleta na cozinha em cima do ladrilho". Putz... que frase pavorosa! Como ele fala isso em rede nacional?!
Num momento do treino, se referia a algum piloto que poderia fazer uma boa corrida, era o Kubica, se não me engano: "Tem pinta de surfista, vai ver que anda bem na água". Ai, essa doeu.
Sobre o casco revolucionário do Rubinho: "Se eles conseguem mudar as cores do capacete, será que não conseguem melhorar a aerodinâmica do carro?". Ham? A equipe deu pra produzir capacetes agora, foi? Viaja, não, amigo.
Ainda no Q1, quando o piloto vinha baixando o tempo da volta: "Deve tá lento puro, o Lewis Hamilton". Talvez ele quisesse dizer que estava muito leve, mas acabou fazendo uma pequena confusão e ficou lento puro mesmo.
Numa discussão sobre o problema de marcha do Massa no GP da Austrália, o Reginaldo levantava a possibilidade de a Ferrari ter jogado a culpa nas costas do engenheiro. Galvão: "Mas isso ela faz sempre. Já jogou a culpa nas costas do Rubinho". Até que seria uma boa se o Rubinho fosse engenheiro, pelo menos assim não reclamaria do carro. Mas até onde eu sei, ele não é. Tá, Galvão? Não é.
Em relação à pontuação e à regularidade no campeonato: "A turma do pódio, Alonso e Hamilton, nas quatro corridas estiveram no pódio". Está certo disso? Posso perguntar? Que pena, você errou.
Início da terceira parte da classificação. Os pilotos estão queimando combustível, a câmera pega o Hamilton na reta dos boxes. Seus pneus têm uma linha branca. Eis ouvimos mais esta: "Neste momento eles estão com pneus duros, mas já está andando rápido, o Hamilton".
Felipe Massa troca os pneus e deixa o pit lane. Na primeira volta lançada, vem aquele erro clássico: "Primeira melhor parcial!". O pior de tudo é que foi desmentido pelo Reginaldo logo em seguida, já haviam feito tempos melhores.
A última do treino: "Quase que o Hamilton ajeitou um jeito de ficar no caminho". Ajeitou um jeito...? "Achou um jeito de ficar pelo caminho", corrigiu. É, acontece, às vezes ele corrige. Ou corrigem ele.
Já no iniciozinho da corrida, uma Toro bate. Quem seria? Galvão chuta: "É o Speed!". Quando percebe que chutou errado, desanda a falar no desespero: "É Liuzzi, é Liuzzi, é Liuzzi, é Liuzzi, é Liuzzi, é Liuzzi, é Liuzzi, é Liuzzi, é Liuzzi, é Liuzzi, é Liuzzi, é Liuzzi, é Liuzzi". Enfim, parou. Mas, em seguida, completou: "É Liuzzi". Esta última serviu para dar ênfase.
Câmera on-board do Kimi Raikkonen, com aquele gráfico ao lado, que Galvão adora: "Cai o giro quando ele tira a aceleração!". Nossa... Essa foi uma lição de vida.
Uma coisa que eu venho notando é que o narrador está tendo dificuldades para acertar o nome do novato. Robinho ele não errava, mas o tal do Lewis... Cada hora sai uma coisa. Tem vez que sai Liu Hamilton, teve uma outra que ele abrasileirou o nome do garoto: "Felipe Massa começa a andar mais rápido que Luis Hamilton". É, tá difícil.
Ralf Schumacher quase estacionou, abrindo para Hamilton e Massa, no entanto o locutor inventa uma quebra, e começa a falar sobre o fim de semana desastroso do alemão: "Vai praticamente parando, o Ralf Schumacher. Vai praticamente parando. Já andou mal nos treinos...". Já narrou mal nos treinos...
E aquela parte: "No S do Senna não deu pra ele passar". Em Mônaco? "Onde eu disse S do Senna, entenda S da piscina", corrigiu dois anos depois.
Galvão tentando ser engraçado quando o Webber parou nos boxes sem condições de voltar à pista: "Primeira e longa parada". Daí ele solta aquela risadinha sarcástica como se todos estivessem achando graça. Pobre Galvão...
"Quem tá prontinha pro pit stop é a BMW. E como o Rosberg já parou, dessa vez vem o Heidfeld". Tá, o Heidfeld foi, mas deixemos claro que o Rosberg não tem nada a ver com isso.
"Diga lá, Carlos Gil!" Daí o Burti começa a falar e diz seu nome para acordar o narrador. "Oh, perdão, Burti, diga lá".
A corrida tava tão chata que ele começou a narrar futebol. Um objeto não identificado atrapalha a parada do David Coulthard e o mêcanico dá um bico no troço. "Chutá lá, mecânico! O mecânico é bom de bola, é canhoto". Essa observação não podia faltar.
Reginaldo falava de um brasileiro chamado Sataler. Galvão: "É o quê?". Ele repete o nome Sataler. De novo Galvão: "Tem um nome bem brasileiro...". Sei, e Bueno é o quê?
Não gosto de quebrar protocolos, mas, se me premitem, vou reproduzir uma frase do Burti: "O engenheiro analisando a pressão do pneu dianteiro traseiro, viu que tava furado". Dianteiro traseiro? Você já ouviu falar em pneu coringa?
A batida do Sutil no primeiro setor foi motivo de gozação. Estas palavras dispensam comentários: "Ele parou ali, pode fazer o seguinte: vai pro café, toma um café, joga umas fichas no cassino e depois vai pro hotel". Eu admito, ri. Nessa eu tive que rir.
Rubinho parou numa volta, na outra entra uma Honda nos boxes. O locutor se assusta: "E o Rubinho parou de novo!". Era o Button.
Pra fechar a conta, Hamilton cruza a linha de chegada em segundo: "Lius Hamilton!". Quase! Quase que ele acerta dessa vez! Tá melhorando, hein... Acho que seria melhor a gente apelar pro blog do Carlos Gil e recomendar uma fonoaudióloga pra ele. Que tal? É o jeito. Nós conhecemos a nossa força, agora a gente manda e a Globo obedece.

80 comentários:

Cevada Buster TM disse...

Muito bom esse post.

Queria lembrar de todas as frases do GB desse jeito.

O q vc faz, anota?

Muito boas essas caneladas do GB.

Mas Pior q ele é o Luciano do Valle narrando INdy.

noooooooooooooooossssssssaaaaaa

Rodrigo disse...

Cara, não reclama. Daqui a pouco o Galvão inventa que, na Inglaterra, o Lewis é conhecido como Miltão.

"Lá vai o Miltão, esse menino é bom. Haaaaaaaaaaja coração!!!"

Felipe Midea disse...

O Cevada Buster disse algo muito interessante. O Luciano do Valle consegue ser ainda pior que o Galvão Bueno. Sem contar que ele sempre dizia, o Fisher, e o Patrick, quando são meninas na realidade.

Quanto ao relato, rachei o bico aqui, Felipão. Acho que você conseguiu reunir tudo aí. Perfeito.Teve aquele lance das velocidades também: "É amigo, o Alonso com 289Km/h de velocidade e o Rubinho 280. Quase 10 segundos de diferença amigo." O esse do Senna em Mônaco entrou pra história também....

Mara disse...

Falta acrescentar mais um detalhe:
"GB tentando adivinhar o que o piloto fala com o engenheiro pelo rádio e vice-versa só para mostrar que sabe tudo."

Quer mostar que sabe outros idiomas; antes deveria falar melhor a nossa língua portuguesa, porque ninguém aguenta ele o tempo todo falando "PENEU".
Será que fala tb ADEVOGADO, PENEUMONIA, PESICÓLOGO, etc ???
Espera-se que uma pessoa que trabalha com comunicação saiba pelo menos o básico das regras gramaticais.

Seria mais prudente deixar o Burti falar porque tem experiência suficiente para entender melhor a conversa e fazer uma explicação técnica da mesma, evitando os ACHISMOS e ADIVINHAÇÕES.

Anônimo disse...

KKKKKK hilario...desta vez o Bueno se excedeu...
Abraços e depois quando a gente se falar no msn eu quero falar sobre a fbus com vôce...
Abraços

Ron Groo disse...

Era eu, esqueci de assinar a de cima.
Groo

Rogério Magalhães disse...

É, a gente fala, reclama do cara, mas que o Bobão Bueno garante algumas boas risadas com tantas "pérolas", isso garante... acho que ele está aprendendo com o Luciano, que é especialista no assunto...

Aquela das diferenças de velocidade e ele falando em 10 segundos foi demais da conta! hahahahahaha...

Aliás, acho que a gente tem reparado tanto na transmissão porque as corridas em si não estão ajudando em nada...

Diego disse...

Pelo menos ele não chamou o Lius Hamilton de Robinho durante a corrida. Ele falou umas 200 vezes sobre a entrevista do Massa no Esporte Espetacular, deve ter sido ótimo. Não perdi meu tempo com babação de ovo barata, como deve ter sido essa entrevista.

Andrea disse...

"Tem pinta de surfista, vai ver que anda bem na água". Era com o californiano, Scott Speed ;D

Speeder_76 disse...

Tou a ver que o Galvão se excedeu, desta vez. Mas ao menos não chama de Robinho ao Hamilton! Já é um principio...

Marcus Mayer disse...

Espetacular, Felipe Maciel!

Você expressou tudo o que eu e - acredito - aqueles que adoram a F1, mas detestam a narração do Galvão Bueno, pensam enquanto assistem à corrida.

Acredite, não é exagero - já cheguei a tirar o volume da tevê em determinados momentos. E olha que sou um cara muito paciente.

E existe coisa pior do que o Galvão. Quem narrou o último mundial de vôley pela Globo era um palhaço total - não me recordo do nome do sujeito - talvez você saiba a quem me refiro.

É inacreditável, mas vamos acabar torcendo para que a transmissão dos esportes caia na rede do bispo da Record.

Uma vez mais, parabéns!

Abração.

Felipe Maciel disse...

É pessoal, mais uma vez eu deixei passar algumas, e olha que o post ficou enorme...
Dá pra ver que a galera toda se liga nessas lambanças que ele faz.
Aproveitando para responder ao Cevada Buster: eu anoto tudo ao vivo mesmo, maior correria quando ele fala uma frase grande, mas eu me viro.

Abraço a todos

gil disse...

Acho que foram tantas citações que não entendi com algumas. Não tinha reparado naquele do "ta lento" e o lance do Rubinho tem foto do capacete preto, eles disseram que mudaria de cor conforme a temperatura. eu nao vi a mudança, maaaaaaas...

Aline disse...

Ele falou da reta curva e mencionou que muita gente se incomoda com essa aberação geométrica. Interessante foi o tom de desprezo com quem reclama das frases feitas dele, igual com a história de robinho, quando ele desprezou todos os que eram contra. Nessa corrida ele falou por cima de quase todos os audios de team radio. E quando ele pára de falar pra ouvir o rádio, não tem uma vez que ele consiga entender, sempre pede socorro ao Burti.
Eu ri muito do é o liuzi, é o liuzi, é o liuzi, é o liuzi, é o liuzi, é o liuzi, é o liuzi...

Mas me irritei com a torcida dele para as McLaren bater.

Rodrigo disse...

É amiiiigo....

Gabriel Souza disse...

Excelente!! Essa do Burti também foi de doer... Não quero que a F1 vá para a TV do bispo... quem narraria lá?? Milton Neves... Ruim com ele, pior sem ele...

E o Luciano do Valle narrando realmente é horrível...

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